Missing someone special is always difficult, but the “hype” we hear as others plan ahead for Christmas can make 25 December even more difficult for those of us who are missing loved ones who have died and who we would have spent this special day with.
Every bereavement is unique, as is every person, so there’s no magic formula for how best to deal with bereavement. We could feel a mix of emotions – sadness, anger, guilt or even moments of joy when we think back to happier times when we enjoyed the time of year with the person, or people, we now miss.
At World Cancer Research Fund, we have a memorial bauble, which we supply primarily to our supporters but can give to anyone who is remembering someone special this Christmas. We understand many of our supporters are bereaved, and that Christmas can be a difficult time of the year, and one where the loss of someone loved is felt very strongly.
Remember that healing takes time, and the first holiday season is often the hardest. Be patient and gentle with yourself. If you’re really struggling, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a grief counsellor or mental health professional for additional support, or visit one of the helpful websites listed below.
Love that turns to grief
We’ll never forget those who have been a part of our lives who have died, but while grief doesn’t diminish, over time, our world instead gradually grows larger around it. A bit like a river that doesn’t narrow but carves new channels and finds new paths to go forward while still carrying those deeper waters.
It’s nice to have memories of people who brought you joy in previous Christmasses’, even if tinged with sadness that they’re no longer here. It’s OK to be sad at their absence, but it’s also important to try to embrace the spirit of the season they would want for you. You don’t have to feel guilty if you do find moments of joy, and you don’t have to apologise to yourself or others if, in a quiet moment of reflection, you are sad.
When we love someone and they die, that love turns to grief. Sharing memories of them, speaking about them, and perhaps using one of our memorial baubles, allows us to keep their memory alive and remember those we love as we take our own journey through life.
“Be happy that we met, not sad that I am gone” is a sentiment used much in bereavement and captures the essence of what enduring love means. It’s like they’ve left you one final gift of wisdom: to treasure the blessing of having had them in your life at all.
- We encourage people in need of extra support to contact Cruse Bereavement Support on 0808 808 1677 or Mind on 0300 123 3393.
The Cure has designed 2 limited-edition guitars to raise funds for World Cancer Research Fund. The 2 guitars have been built by Schecter Guitars and the artwork is by Bunny Lake Designs.
Frontman Robert Smith will be donating $250 (£191) from each sale, with Schecter Guitars matching his contribution. This will bring donations to $500 (£383) per guitar. There are only 75 available in total and they are available to order here.
Supporting our work is important to the band members, especially after Roger O’Donnell, The Cure’s guitarist, was diagnosed with blood cancer. He has since been urging others to look out for signs and get tested.
Sarah-Jane Hill, Fundraising Partnerships Manager at World Cancer Research Fund, said: “We’re delighted and incredibly grateful that Robert Smith and The Cure have chosen World Cancer Research Fund to benefit from the sale of these iconic guitars. The funds raised from these stunning instruments will support our prevention and survival work, and help people to live longer, healthier lives – free from the devastating effects of cancer.”
The funds raised from these stunning instruments will support our prevention and survival work
To celebrate our relationship with The Cure, we designed a spicy sandwich for them during Cancer Prevention Action Week last year – they taste just like heaven! To erase those “blue Mondays ” and “grey Tuesdays”, our pitta surprise is perfect for fans of the legendary English alternative rock band – and best of all it helps reduce your cancer risk, too.
Living with cancer
If you, or someone you love, is going through cancer, we’re here to support you. From answers to common questions, to advice on side-effects and free recipes tailored for people living with cancer, browse all our resources.
A bowel cancer diagnosis during lockdown shocked our supporter Claire Burlison to the core. But following surgery, she’s now living beyond cancer and trying to follow our Recommendations.
A cancer diagnosis can be devastating for anyone. But when you’re young, energetic – and the world is in the grip of a global pandemic – it’s even harder.
“I was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2020,” says Claire, “which came as a shock as I’m only in my 40s. Before that, I assumed my irritable bowel syndrome was just getting worse. It was only when I got sharp stomach pains and ended up in A&E that I found out I needed surgery.
“I was expecting bad news, but it still knocked me for six when they phoned and told me I had bowel cancer,” she adds.
Although bowel cancer – like most cancers – is more prevalent in older adults, it’s sadly increasingly common in younger people. Researchers are trying to find out why. Fortunately for Claire, doctors found that the cancer hadn’t spread. Now, having been cancer-free for over 2 years, she’s trying to follow our Recommendations in her daily life to reduce the risk of cancer returning.
Conscious eating
Claire limits alcohol and is much more aware of what she eats – checking food labels to see what’s really in the food she’s buying, and dramatically reducing how much red and processed meat she eats, because of the strong links to bowel cancer.
Exercise is also important for people living beyond cancer – with both physical and mental benefits. For Claire, staying active comes naturally as she is the founder of the international dance phenomenon Clubbercise. Blending simple but effective dance, toning and combat moves, Clubbercise is a workout with a difference aimed at all abilities. The atmosphere is more nightclub than gym, as people dance together in a darkened room with low lighting and flashing LED glow sticks.
Know the symptoms of bowel cancer
Claire says she’s “proud to still be here supporting Bowel Cancer Awareness Month”, which takes place in April every year.
“Thankfully, my cancer was caught early and I’m fine now but many people aren’t so lucky. I’ve lost friends to this terrible disease and I’m keen to raise awareness to help others. If you notice any changes to your bowel habits that last more than a couple of weeks please see your doctor straight away – it could save your life!”
Get the lowdown on bowel cancer
What does our research say about how you can prevent the disease?